Well it's Friday again and I thought it was time for a bit of humour.  As a cat lover I found this particularly tickled my fancy!!

I few images that I spotted on the web.  Enjoy.

I'm busy with Christmas and New Year plans so this is the last post I'll make this year. Thanks to everyone who visited and gave feedback via email.  I looked around for some good Christmas cards to post but came across these videos instead.  Hope you like them.

I hope you liked my new necklaces.  Still on a lighter note, I have collected together a few jokes from the internet to chuckle over.  Enjoy.

This image made me chuckle.  It's a stock image available through Weebly who host this blog.  We've had snow here this week, which is not common so we don't really know how to deal with it, unlike Mr Polar Bear above.

These little snippets remind me of my walk to work yesterday morning!!

And finally....

This made me laugh today....

HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."

Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.

Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or her if they want fries with that.

Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
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It's Friday again - yay!  Been a busy one this week.  Here's this week's wee bit of humour.

Employment History

• My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
  
• I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.I was a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. It was a so-so job.
  
• I worked in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
  
• I was a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.I tried to be a chef. 
  
• I thought it would add a little spice to my life,but I just didn't have the thyme.
  
• I was a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
  
• I was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
  
• I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
  
• I worked in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
  
• I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
  
• I always wanted to be a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
  
• I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
  
• I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
  
• I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
  
• I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
  
• I got a job as a historian but I realized there was no future in it.
  
• I was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

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This is from one of my favourite sites that I am happy to link to over and again.  Visit them here for lots of good material.  Here is this week's funny Friday.  They are allegedly quotes from letters to councils.

"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off."

"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage."

"Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my fence."

"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off."

"The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?"

"I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall."

"Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant."

"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."

"Can you please tell me when the repairs will be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother."

"I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers."

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared."

"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink."

"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now it is in three pieces."

"Would you please send a man to repair my sprout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away."

"I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much."

"The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."

"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so will you please send someone around to do something about it."

"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night."

"Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife."

"I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction."

"We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden before we move into the house."

"This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2."

I'm having a bad hair day today, which prompted me to look for some humour on the subject, especially after yesterday's less than happy subject on this blog.  Enjoy!

Quotes

She was what we used to call a suicide blonde - dyed by her own hand (Saul Bellow)

I'm a big woman. I need big hair (Aretha Franklin)

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.  (Author Unknown)

I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb.  I also know I'm not blonde.  (Dolly Parton)

A fine head of hair adds beauty to a good face, and terror to an ugly one.  (Lycurgus)

Well it's Friday again.  Yay!  Enjoy these missives to round off the week.

Questions NOT to ask at the job interview

1. What’s your company’s policy on severance pay?
2. How long does it take your company’s bureaucracy to get around to firing somebody for poor performance?
3. Do you have a random drug testing policy?
4. Does your company’s life insurance cover suicide?
5. How in depth are your criminal background checks?
6. Does your company’s insurance consider genital herpes a pre-existing condition?
7. How many sick days do you allow each employee before you stop paying them for not being here?
8. Does your insurance cover sex-change operations?
9. Does your internet access have a firewall that blocks pornographic websites?
10. How frequently do your accountants audit petty cash?

Microsoft landing
A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous.

At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: “Hey, where am I?”. The solitary office worker replies: “You’re in an airplane.”. The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport’s runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it.

“Elementary,” replies the pilot, “I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft’s support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees.”


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